Sunday, January 16, 2011

Who Rules Your Roost?

I regularily read this blog. I have great respect for the blogger. So by no means is this a dig. But a comment I read today went something like this: "he is the head of our household."

And then a commenter wrote this: "...submit to our husbands and support the decisions they make for our family."
and another
"but [I] wanted to honor God by submitting to him."

Now, maybe its because I don't subscribe to a single organized religion. Or maybe its just the way I was raised. Or maybe its just a personal preference. But I am just floored. Floored that marriage in this day and age is not a 2 way street. I work at home, so I don't bring in an income, per se. My husband is our breadwinner. But he certainly is not the head of our household. We make all major, child-rearing, life-concerning...together. I am just stumped. Is there something in the bible that says that you are not honoring God if you do not submit to your husband? Again, not a dis by any means. Just an honest thought process.


heather said...

Like the "things that make you go mmm" category tag. :-) There is a huge group of Christians who do believe that the woman should be "below" the man in a marriage. A friend of mine did a study once and while I disagreed with 90% of what was said, there were actually some good points about not getting defensive and "keeping score" about who is doing more, etc. And valuing/letting the "breadwinner" spouse know how much you appreciate them and what they do for your family.

beckley said...

um, yeah, it's in ephesians chapter 5, verse 21, which precedes vs 22.

vs 22: wife should submit to husband.
vs 21: Husband and wife should submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.

cute little thing about the the patriarchists and fundamentalists: they like to start at a false paragraph break in vs 22, rather than 21. it's not a real paragraph break. and vs 22 is not meant to be read without vs 21.

next slide:
there's no verb, in the greek, in verse 22, OR 21, so it shouldn't be read apart from that either. It's--the verb-- actually back at the beginning of the chapter where it talks about worship. all following sentences are referring to the original verb found at the beginning of the chapter.

And that matters because...context. Go figure.

As for the definition of mutual submission, we do weird things with that word these days, so we don't necessarily understand it.

There is no hierarchy in the triune godhead, there is no greater value placed by God on one gender or the other, either. These are things created by man, a result more of cultural influences than anything. It means to care for each other, think of the other better than yourself, love the other selflessly-that kind of stuff. But it's interesting to note people then did not often marry for love, but for arrangement, so to love each other like that, which is what i think a lot of us hope for, is a big deal, and God's placing value on love in marriage, rather than a lifestyle arrangement.

If that even makes sense- can't write in this tiny box. It's confusing me- can't think straight. Then again, I don't like small boxes =)

All the marriage advice in the bible is meant to be that- advice- advice to humans on how is a beneficial way to live. Usually, in context***, it's liberating from the cultural ways of the time.

And, I think I've told you, I had to stop blog-hopping, because I would end up on some mom's page slamming moms who work because they aren't following the will of God, resulting in my near=breaking of my laptop when I slammed it shut in furor. People too often don't stop to think how their words affect others, and it's unfortunate.

Just do whatever Chris tells you to and you'll be fine.

Kidding =)
And I need to go shovel.

Sabrina said...

Yeah. Those are some tough verses in the Bible. I struggle with those. While I do try to follow them, we both make decisions together. Yes, he is the head of the household and he has the final say if we are in disagreement on something. I actually don't mind it then because if he makes a bad decision then I am not responsible. Rarely, do we disagree though.


I was blog hopping today and found your site from the pleated poppy. You have a lovely blog. I just wanted to comment on this post.

my husband loves me and takes care of myself and our family. i love him and take care of him and our family. i do believe there is order to things, even in the family. Christ instructs me to submitt to my husband but the bible also tells husbands to treat his bride as christ treated the church. Christ died for the church. So that would translate that my husband is to die for me. (you see where I'm saying?) Me submitting to my husband does not mean I'm his servant, I do freely speak my mind, my husband is to listen, and we are a pair. We are in this thing together. I do consider him the head of our household.